Am I Allowed To Be Mad At God? A Guide To Lamenting.
Yes! Did you know that many of the characters that we read about in the Bible were angry at God at one point or another? It’s true! And did God turn his back on them just because they were mad? No! Y’all, God gave us a whole host of emotions that he intends for us to use. But it’s how we use those emotions that can take us from healthy expression to sin.
So how exactly do you tell God you are mad at him? The biblical term for this is lamenting. The practice of lamenting is where we receive guidance and instructions on how to take our pain and anger to God in an honest but respectful way. If you are looking for a great example, take a moment to read Psalms 13 (it’s short). If you are interested in writing your own lament, and I highly recommend it, below is an overview of how to do just that!
Ask God Directly
You aren’t taking this to your friend, you aren’t taking it to your spouse, you’re taking it to the throne of God and saying, we’ve got some things to work through.
Often, a lament begins with an address to God: “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Psalm 13:1).
The point is that we choose to talk DIRECTLY to God about what is happening.
Invite Holy Spirit to be with you and to guide you through the conversation. Ask him to remind you of anything you unintentionally buried that needs to be brought into your lament.
Bring Your Complaints
Be honest and bring ALL your complaints! Don’t hold back; God is big enough and gracious enough to handle these and RECEIVE them. You aren’t going to hurt his feelings.
Every lament features some kind of complaint: “How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?” (Psalm 13:2).
More than spewing fire, it is asking God, “Why?” and putting that raging frustration inside of you in the hands of someone who can walk you through it.
Ask Boldly for Help
Seeking God’s help while in pain is an act of faith!
“Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; Light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, ‘I have prevailed over him’, lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
Psalm 86:2-3 “Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts you. You are my God, have mercy on me, Lord, for I call you all day long.”
Buried sorrow can create a deadly silence as we give in to despair. We can feel “there's no hope” or stay in denial that “everything is fine," but lament invites us to dare to hope in God’s promises as we ask for His help.
Choose to Trust/Praise God
This is the destination for our laments!
“I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you.” Psalm 42:5b-6a
“I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!” Psalm 116:1-2
If we simply address God and complain while remaining in bitterness, and anger, we will continue to live in those places. However, using “yet” or “but” to pivot from our complaints toward trusting God or reaffirming our faith in Him, even when we don’t feel it, helps us build a bridge to healing
Suffering can become unbearable if you aren’t certain God is for you and with you.
Need More Help?
At Foreknown, we've walked with parents to help them experience healing after losing a baby after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. Should you require additional support, we offer several avenues:
1. Reach out via text:
By texting "4Help" to 719.626.8486, you can connect with others who have traversed similar paths. You need not navigate this journey alone.
2. Enroll in the Your Journey to Joy” Course:
We took the best information from our annual retreats and condensed it just for you in the Your Journey to Joy Course. Learn everything you need to know about healing after pregnancy loss by two moms who’ve been in your shoes. Learn more.
3. Get a coach:
You needn't face your grief in isolation. Connecting with a coach allows both of you to dedicate time to exploring your grief, journey, and marriage while seeking guidance and healing through Jesus.
