A Grandma’s Story: “When I Can’t Take The Pain Away”
I'm writing this story for all the parents out there that want to support their adult children in whatever life holds for them. My story isn't very flashy, but it is real and I hope it gives you some ways you can bring some light into your child's darkness.
I was a mom that wanted to give her kids EVERYTHING and protect them from ANYTHING. I mean - why not - we had the resources - it would all work out for their good - right? What happened in my son's life - never prepared me to help them through the loss of their own child. For the first time in his life, I couldn't say "I'll make it all better - I'll fix it " because I couldn't. I couldn't even say - "I know how you feel." because I didn't. Seeing the pain and unmeasurable sadness in my child's eyes was worse than I could have imagined. How would I ever get him through this? I felt so out of control - so helpless. My son shouldn't have to bury his child. What about all the hopes and dreams - going to t-ball, graduations, weddings. As a grandparent - I had been robbed. I was angry and helpless, That is where life got bigger than me and I realized - this one I had to turn over to God. This required exceptional strength and courage that only comes when you don't have that strength yourself. So I prayed....prayed for comfort - prayed for peace - and prayed for a new way for hope the darkest days ahead.
The Lord gives us peace when we don't have it. He gives us vision when we can't see the way. He gives us comfort when we are restless. He speaks to us in the quiet when the quiet can feel deafening.
What gets me up in the morning is knowing the new day begins with a sense of adventure and promise of hope for what is yet to be. I can't change the past, but we can find joy - one day at a time! Believe in the present - hope for the future. Yesterday is gone - but not forgotten. I will always hold a memory in my heart for each pain my children have suffered, but my desire is for each of them to build new memories to treasure. So maybe - just maybe the hurt will diminish with time. We walk this journey together with faith.
