Defeating from Defeat— Overcome Satan to Grow
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
When you’re down, you still have to fight against Satan—the lies, and the hurt that he wants to bring into your life. Defeating Satan while you’re grieving the loss of your child can be done and we suggest it must be something that you strive to do. Know that there is a time and a place to combat Satan, but we have prepared these truths from a heart of experience. We’ve lived through this as you have and even if the loss is new (even this week), we suggest you think and pray about these things and know that you do have Jesus praying (John 17:20-26) for you as we are.
You may be thinking that you don’t even want to deal with Satan right now, and we don’t blame you. But know this, he’s the father of all lies (John 8:44) and caused the fall of mankind into sin (Genesis 3), so why wouldn’t he mess with you right now? Satan wants to destroy any ounce of hope that you have right now, and we don’t want that for you, your spouse and those around you.
Belief 1: Satan wants to drive a wedge between you and Jesus
Satan doesn’t want you to heal and he certainly doesn’t want you to grow closer to Jesus through this season. You need to be in the Word (more on that in a minute) and you have to be in constant prayer— lots and lots of prayer. When my daughter skins her knee, she runs to me and I get to hold her to take the pain away. I’ve noticed that I’m always wanting to hold on longer than she wants to be held. Our heavenly Father wants to hold us too and He never wants to let go. The best way to be with Jesus is to, well, be with Jesus. Converse with Him. Talk to Him. Share your feelings with Him. Shoot, be mad at Him and let Him heal that too. You can’t ever out-relationship, out-pray or spend too much time talking to Jesus. Ever. You’ll always want to pull away before He does.
“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too.”
Jesus is the only one that can truly give you all the comfort and peace you need right now, but he may also put people in you life that have experienced what you’re going through (I wonder who that could be?) and can walk alongside you during your grief. When you’re ready, you may even help somebody else. Jesus is great like that. He wants to be close to you and brings others close to you to push you closer! Satan, not so much. He wants you alone, isolated, confused, hurt and shut down. We aren’t saying that you need to pick yourself back up today if the loss is fresh, but we do believe that processing through it with Jesus and others is what He wants for you.
Belief 2: Satan wants to drive a wedge between you and your spouse
When you get married, most vows include “for better or for worse” and “till death do us part.” Pregnancy loss isn’t the death it was referring to. Satan wants to destroy your marriage right now because there’s a weak spot. He’s looking to pull you apart and you both need to know that seasons of grief have the potential to do just that.
“Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Men and women are going to approach grief and pregnancy loss differently. We can’t expect our husbands to experience everything that we did, because they simply can’t. The didn’t carry the baby. We’ve written this great post for men about supporting their wives in loss, but you need to understand the flip-side. As a woman, we need to mimic what Romans 15:5-6 says above. “One mind and one mouth” is along the same lines as when you got married and two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Satan wants nothing to do with that. He wants to drive a wedge between you and have you blame it on things like:
Communication styles
Upbringing
Gender differences
Physical ailments (tired, in pain, etc.)
Depression and mental illness
Spiritual differences
The list above doesn’t even include any outside influences from other people. If you’re surrounded by people that don’t believe that your marriage is an active covenant between you and God (as in they don’t believe in Jesus or think divorce is okay), then you need different people around you. Surround yourself with people that want you to grow in intimacy with your husband and Jesus.
Believe 3: Satan wants you to believe the lies
Okay, so we have Satan feeding us lies, and sometimes using those around us a vessel … how do we filter everything out and not lose it? Remember Matthew 4:1-11 when Jesus is tested by Satan, it’s the Word that allows Jesus to combat Satan, even when Satan tried to twist the Word for his benefit. In this season, we recommend spending a lot of time reading the Bible. Check out the YouVersion Bible App and search for bible plans dealing with loss . We’ve also compiled 21 Scriptures for you to memorize in this season. The Bible says that the word is a sword - it is what we can throw around in those moments when we’re feeling lost and hopeless and alone in the dark. The Lord promises to never leave us or forsake us and sister, I can promise you that when you are feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, that he is there in the darkness with you. Never let Satan’s lies become louder than God’s truth.
